Shemuel and the Portable Bathroom

בכורות דף מד ע"ב 

שמואל איצטריך ליה בשבתא דרגלא נגדו ליה גלימא אתא לקמיה דאבוה א"ל אתן לך ד' מאה זוזי וזיל אהדר עובדא את דאפשר לך דלא אפשר ליה ליסתכן מר בר רב אשי איצטריך אגודא גמלא אשתין אמרו ליה חמתך קאתיא אמר להו באודנה

Bechorot 44b 

Shemuel needed to use the bathroom, so his talmidim spread out their jackets and created a divider to provide privacy for him. 

When his father heard about the incident, he said: "I would give you four hundred zuz to go take back what you've done! Announce in public that it is forbidden to wait until you have privacy before urinating. You see, for you it's easy. You have talmidim at your beck and call who will provide you with a divider whenever you need. But what about those who don't have access to that kind of luxury? They will hold it in until they can find a private spot, and it will cause damage to their urogenital tract!"  

Today, a certain talmid chacham approached A"A with a question regarding carrying a cell phone on Shabbat in a case of pikuach nefesh. A"A permitted it. The talmid chacham recommended a gimmick to avoid some of the issur- if the carrier places the cell phone in a bag with something that is not muktze, perhaps he can establish the bag as a basis ledavar hammutar and permit the muktze of the phone! A"A forbade him from making this recommendation. 

"If you add conditions to make it 'extra permissible'," He told the inquirer, "people may mistakenly believe that it is only muttar under these conditions. This might lead them to abandon the actual halacha when your gimmick is unavailable or not being used. And that in turn may lead to pikuach nefesh." 

He proved his stance from this gemara- it is forbidden to add chumrot in such a situation, lest someone else misunderstand, mistakenly believe that the chumra is a necessity, and fail to keep the din properly.

Outsmarting the spite

יבמות דף סג ע"א 

רב הוה קא מצערא ליה דביתהו כי אמר לה עבידי לי טלופחי עבדא ליה חימצי חימצי עבדא ליה טלופחי כי גדל חייא בריה אפיך לה אמר ליה איעליא לך אמך אמר ליה אנא הוא דקא אפיכנא לה אמר ליה היינו דקא אמרי אינשי דנפיק מינך טעמא מלפך את לא תעביד הכי שנאמר (ירמיהו ט) למדו לשונם דבר שקר 

Yevamot 63a 

Rav would get tormented by his wife. Whatever he would ask of her, she would spitefully do the opposite. If he would ask for lentil soup, he would get chimtzi beans. If he would ask for chimtzi beans, he would get lentils. 

One day, he found that she had made lentils, just like he had requested! 

"Your mother finally stopped mistreating me!" he happily told his son Chiya.

"Actually..." Chiya said, "I told Mom that you want chimtzi beans today. I knew she would switch it on you and you would get the dinner you were actually craving."

"That's what they mean when they say, 'That which you produce is more capable than you are.' However, you must stop. It is, after all, dishonest to trick your mother like that. One must never use dishonest means for getting what he wants, lest it becomes a habit."

Sometimes in life, we find that we can outsmart people's hurtful behavior by lowering ourselves to their standards. However, A"A demonstrates from this gemara, this is not the correct approach. We must maintain our standard of behavior at all times, even when dealing with spiteful spouses and other unpleasantness. 

Double dipping

נדרים דף מט ע"ב

רבי יוסי ורבי יהודה חד אכיל דייסא באצבעתיה וחד אכיל בהוצא א"ל דאכיל בהוצא לדאכיל באצבעתיה עד מתי אתה מאכילני צואתך אמר ליה דאכיל באצבעתיה לדאכיל בהוצא עד מתי אתה מאכילני רוקך

Nedarim 49b

Ribbi Yosse and Ribbi Yehuda had a difference of habit when sharing a bowl of cereal: one would eat it with his hands and the other would use a spoon. 

"For how long must I endure being fed the dirt off your hands?!" the spoon-eater said to the hand-eater.

"You're one to speak!" the hand-eater replied. "I see you double dipping with that spoon. For how long must I endure being fed your saliva?"

Prophecy and Psychosis

בבא בתרא דף יב ע"ב  

א"ר יוחנן מיום שחרב בית המקדש ניטלה נבואה מן הנביאים וניתנה לשוטים ולתינוקות

Bava Batra 12b

Ribbi Yochanan says: Since the day that the Bet Hamikdash was destroyed, prophecy was taken away from the nevi'im and given instead to the psychotic and small children. 

A"A says that if anyone ever claims to you that he received a prophecy, you can be confident that he is either lying or mentally ill. 

Talmudic tips for prevention of neurodegenerative disease

הוריות דף יג ע"ב 

חמשה דברים משיבים את הלימוד פת פחמין וכל שכן פחמין עצמן והאוכל ביצה מגולגלת בלא מלח והרגיל בשמן זית והרגיל ביין ובשמים והשותה מים של שיורי עיסה ויש אומרים אף הטובל אצבעו במלח ואוכל הרגיל בשמן זית מסייע ליה לרבי יוחנן דאמר רבי יוחנן כשם שהזית משכח לימוד של שבעים שנה כך שמן זית משיב לימוד של שבעים שנה

Horayot 13b 

Five things that preserve one's memory: Eating bread baked over charcoal and all the more so actual charcoal (- Rash"i) [alternatively- wheaten bread and much more so wheat itself - Soncino Talmud translation], eating hard-boiled eggs without salt, frequent use of olive oil, wine and pleasant scents, and the leftover water from the baking of bread....

'Frequent use of olive oil' confirms what Ribbi Yochanan would say: Just as olives can make you forget seventy years worth of learning, olive oil can preserve seventy years worth of learning. 

Over the past few decades, much research has been put into Alzheimer's disease and its prevention. One of the most effective methods for preventing Alzheimer's disease was a special diet dubbed the MIND diet. It was found to reduce or delay the onset of Alzheimer's disease, even among individuals with a high genetic predisposition to developing it. Among the notable features of the mind diet is the exclusive use of olive oil, a glass of wine daily, and whole grain bread. 

The Angel of Death

עבודה זרה דף כ ע"ב

אמרו עליו על מלאך המות שכולו מלא עינים בשעת פטירתו של חולה עומד מעל מראשותיו וחרבו שלופה בידו וטיפה של מרה תלויה בו כיון שחולה רואה אותו מזדעזע ופותח פיו וזורקה לתוך פיו ממנה מת ממנה מסריח ממנה פניו מוריקות 

Avoda Zara 20b 

It is said of the Angel of Death that he is covered in eyes. At the time that an ill person is ready to die, he stands at the head of the sick person with a sword in his hand. One drop hangs at the tip. The sick person's jaw drops in fear, and the drop falls in. That one drop kills the individual, causes the individual to rot, and their face to go white. 

This gemara is rife with imagery, but has halacha lemaase ramifications as well: When someone passes away at home, it is customary to dispose of all the water in the house. One of the reasons given for this practice is because we are afraid that perhaps a drop of the Angel of Death's horrible toxin diffused into it (בית יוסף יו"ד ס"ס שלט). 

Real Jews are brown(ish)

נגעים פרק ב משנה א

רבי ישמעאל אומר, בית ישראל, אני כפרתן--הרי הן כאשכרוע:  לא שחורים ולא לבנים, אלא בינוניים.

Negaim 2:1

Ribbi Yishmael says: The Children of Israel – may I be their atonement (a term of endearment which is still used in Modern Hebrew and is stereotypical to old Sepharadic grandmothers) – they are like boxwood, neither black [like an East African] nor white [like a German], but intermediate.

The nations of the world often struggle to answer the question: Are Jews white? Ribbi Yishmael answered that question for us a long time ago- no. Real Jews are brown(ish).

(Photo source: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/570690584014789139)

Gross Anatomy

בכורות דף מה ע"א

מעשה בתלמידיו של ר' ישמעאל ששלקו זונה אחת שנתחייבה שריפה למלך בדקו ומצאו בה מאתים וחמשים ושנים אמר להם שמא באשה בדקתם שהוסיף לה הכתוב שני צירים ושני דלתות

Bechorot 45a 

There was once a prostitute who was sentenced to death by the king. Her cadaver was given over to the students of Ribbi Yishmael to corrode and perform osteological studies. After studying her bones, they concluded that there were 252 bones, and not 248 like the Mishnah in Massechet Ohalot (1:9) claims! When they reported this discrepancy to their teacher, he asked them, "Was it a woman which you dissected? A woman's pelvis does not ossify in the same manner that a man's does!"

It is worth noting that according to today's anatomists, the adult human only has 206 bones. A"A addresses this by quoting the Encylopedia HaIvrit, which explains that the Talmudic account of 248 was not meant to be an account of complete bones but rather of ossification centers. 

I would like to add a suggestion. Perhaps the difference lies in the definition of adulthood: anatomical adulthood is defined by the completion of ossification (which occurs at around 20 years of age) while Halachic adulthood is defined as 12 or 13 years of age (for females and males respectively) or the onset of pubic hair growth (if it occurs after that age). Anatomists would agree that at 13 years of age, there are somewhere between 270 and 206 bones in the body.

Emotional Honesty

יומא דף סט ע"ב  

אמר רבי יהושע בן לוי: למה נקרא שמן אנשי כנסת הגדולה? שהחזירו עטרה ליושנה.
אתא משה אמר (דברים י) "האל הגדול הגבור והנורא" אתא ירמיה ואמר "נכרים מקרקרין בהיכלו איה נוראותיו?" לא אמר נורא.
אתא דניאל אמר "נכרים משתעבדים בבניו איה גבורותיו?" לא אמר גבור.
אתו אינהו ואמרו "אדרבה- זו היא גבורת גבורתו שכובש את יצרו שנותן ארך אפים לרשעים ואלו הן נוראותיו שאלמלא מוראו של הקב"ה היאך אומה אחת יכולה להתקיים בין האומות"

Yoma 69b 

Ribbi Yehoshua b. Levi said: Why were they called 'Men of the Great Assembly'? What was so great about them? It was because they reinstated God's glory. Moshe Rabbenu originally referred to Hashem as "HaEl HaGadol Hagibbor vehaNora- The Lord, the Great, the Mighty and the Awesome" (Devarim 10:17).
Yirmiyahu came around a few hundred years later and asked, "The enemy is frolicking around the holiest site of the Temple- where is Hashem's awesomeness?" In his description of Hashem, Yirmiyahu cut out the word "Nora" (Yirmiyahu 32:18).
Daniel came around a few years after that and asked, "The enemy is enslaving His children- where is Hashem's might?" In his description of Hashem, he cut out the word "Gibbor" (Daniel 9:4).
Came the Men of the Great Assembly and explained: Hashem's might is demonstrated by the fact that he restrains himself from intervening before the time is right. Hashem's awesomeness is demonstrated by the fact that he keeps his nation in existence even when scattered around the world. They reinstated the full phrase into our prayers- HaEl Hagadol Hagibbor vehaNora. 

The approach of Yirmiyahu and Daniel seems provocative at first- did they really deny that Hashem was Awesome or that he was Mighty? A"A explains as follows: Yirmiyahu and Daniel never doubted Hashem's traits for a minute. However, although they recognized them on an intellectual level, they were unable to feel them on an emotional level. They saw tragedy all around them, and they had trouble reconciling their experiences with what they knew to be true. And, although they knew it to be true on an intellectual level, they could not incorporate these phrases into their prayers because they could not relate to it on an emotional level. 

May we always experience intellectual and emotional honesty in our prayers and in every other way which we choose to relate to Hashem. 

Who will build the Third Bet HaMikdash?

How the Third Temple will be constructed is an interesting topic of discussion, and hopefully one that will be relevant in the coming days. There are two main approaches, that of the Rambam, and that of Rash"i and Tosafot. 

The Rambam clearly believed that the responsibility of building the Third Temple lies among us, the Jewish people. He writes:

רמב"ם פ"א מהל' בית הבחירה הלכה א 

מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה לַעֲשׂוֹת בַּיִת לַה', מוּכָן לִהְיוֹת מַקְרִיבִים בּוֹ הַקָּרְבָּנוֹת, וְחוֹגְגִין אֵלָיו שָׁלוֹשׁ פְּעָמִים בַּשָּׁנָה--שֶׁנֶּאֱמָר "וְעָשׂוּ לִי, מִקְדָּשׁ" (שמות כה,ח); וּכְבָר נִתְפָּרַשׁ בַּתּוֹרָה מִשְׁכָּן שֶׁעָשָׂה מֹשֶׁה רַבֵּנוּ, וְהָיָה לְפִי שָׁעָה--שֶׁנֶּאֱמָר "כִּי לֹא-בָאתֶם, עַד-עָתָּה . . ." (דברים יב,ט). 

Rambam Laws of the Temple 1:1 

It is a positive commandment to build a house for God, where sacrifices will be brought and holidays will be celebrated three times a year....

Likewise, the Rambam writes elsewhere:

הלכות מלכים ומלחמות פ' י"א הל' א 

 הַמֶּלֶךְ הַמָּשִׁיחַ עֲתִיד לַעֲמֹד, וּלְהַחְזִיר מַלְכוּת בֵּית דָּוִיד לְיָשְׁנָהּ הַמֶּמְשָׁלָה הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, וּבוֹנֵה מִקְדָּשׁ, וּמְקַבֵּץ נִדְחֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל. 

 Laws of Kings and of War 11:1  

The Melech HaMashiach will rise up, reinstate the Davidic dynasty and its original government, build the temple, and gather the people of Israel to their home.

There is, however, a second school of thought that believed that the third Temple will descend fully constructed out of the heavens. The responsibility to construct the next Bet HaMikdash lies not upon us but upon Hashem Himself. This is the opinion of Rash"i and the Tosafot (Succah 41a). This opinion is based of a collection of Midrashe Aggada, such as the following:

פסיקתא רבתי סי' כח 

אין נוטה עוד אהלי [ומקים יריעותי] (ירמיה י י), מהו, וכי אין בית המקדש עתיד ליבנות, אלא אין נוטה עוד אהלי מכם ואין מקים יריעותי מכם, אלא מקדש ראשון שבנאו בשר ודם נפל ביד שונא אבל מקדש אחרון שהקדוש ברוך הוא בונה אותו שנאמר בונה ירושלים ה' נדחי ישראל יכנס (תהלים קמ"ז ב') שוב לא יחרב לכך נאמר אהלי שודד וגו'. 

According to this opinion, the Bet Hamikdash will descend from the heaven constructed and assembled when the time is right. 

When asked to decide between the two opinions, A"A quotes the following opinion of Rav Yaakov Ettlinger (1798-1871):

ערוך לנר למסכת סוכה דף מא ע"א 

ולכן הי' נלענ"ד דודאי ביהמ"ק לעתיד לבא יבנה בנין ממש בידי אדם ומה שנאמר מקדש ד' כוננו ידיך שנדרש בתנחומא שירד למטה הוא ביהמ"ק רוחני שיבא לתוך ביהמ"ק הנבנה גשמי כנשמה בתוך הגוף וכמו שירד במשכן ובבית המקדש האש של מעלה תוך האש של הדיוט שנבער בעצים וכן נראה במכילתא דדרש מפסוק מכון לשבתך פעלת ד' שבית המקדש של מעלה מכוון כנגד בית המקדש של מטה ועל זה קאמר מקדש ד' כוננו ידיך שלעתיד לבא כשימלוך ד' לעולם ועד לעיני כל באי עולם ישכון למטה בתוך מקדש שכבר בנוי הוא ומכוון כנגד ביהמ"ק של מטה והיינו שירד למטה תוך המקדש שיבנה ועיין בזוהר פ' וישב שמשמע שם כן אמנם כמו שלמטה בארץ אין נשמה בלא גוף כמו כן המקדש רוחני לא יקום בלא מקדש גשמי ולכן א"ש הלשון בנין בביהמ"ק שלעתיד ג"כ 

Arukh Laner (Succah 41a)  

In my opinion, the physical building of third temple will definitely be constructed by mankind. The Midrashim that say that the Temple will be prepared by God and descend from heaven are referring to a spiritual Bet HaMikdash which will descend and occupy the physical Bet HaMikdash the way a soul occupies a physical body. This is akin to how a heavenly fire used to descend during times of the Mishkan and previous Bet HaMikdash into the flames that were kindled [by the Kohanim] on the Mizbeach......

In summary, this opinion combines the two- while the physical third Bet HaMikdash will be constructed by mankind, the spiritual aspect of it will descend from Heaven. We cannot wait around forever until a Temple falls out of the sky for us. We must do our part when the time comes, build the walls and the roof, and hope that Hashem accepts our construction and fills our building the spiritual aspect that it requires to function properly. 

(For those who remain unsatisfied, here's an excellent article with more details and sources that address this question.)